Revenge is Sweet
by Pandora the Damned
Summary: Someone draws on Lynn's face while she was asleep, and now she's furious. Who did it? Find out! T for swearing.


I slid into my bed. I was utterly exhausted for some unknown reason. I hadn't done anything physically draining or exercised at all that day, and yet, I just wanted to sleep. I shut my eyes, waiting for unconsciousness to hit me. I didn't have to wait long.

-The next day-

Getting up was not the ideal way to start the day, trust me. I rolled over, groaning slightly as I did so.

As the grogginess left me though, I became more and more restless, eventually bolting upright into a sitting position only to find that I was cocooned in my blanket. After much unnecessary struggling, I managed to untangle myself, and stood up.

Shouldering open the door, I shuffled to the bathroom which, fortunately, was close to my room.

~*~

I only glanced up at my reflection once as I was washing I hands. That one glance was enough to cause me to do the biggest double-take of my life.

I noticed that my hair had grown long in the time that I'd had been here, and it hadn't been cut in awhile. It was halfway to my shoulders, and with the black dye slowly fading out, my hair was going back to its original sandy blonde color, with ugly black flecks still dotted throughout my hair. It wasn't that that caused me to double take though, it was what was written in black permanent marker on my face.

_**BITCH**_ was written in thick black lettering across my face. The bottoms of the letters were sketched across my cheeks and chin and, while a bit messy, it was still very clear. I swore my jaw hit the floor, "No… way…" I wetted her hands with soap and water and began scrubbing. Even through the surging foam of soap, the letters where still visible on my face.

Eventually, I accepted defeat (not an easy thing to do for someone like me) and washed the soap off of my face. The letters hadn't faded a bit, and my forehead was now red and raw from the harsh scrubbing, "Someone is going to die,"

I strolled back to my room, thoughts racing, compiling a list of possible suspects. So far, there was; Tuff, who would have thought this an excellent prank. Tiff, who might have snapped under the daily doses of sarcasm that were being administered to her, Escargoon, who hated me for living in the castle and numerous other threats to his physical and mental health, or possibly even one of the Cappy's. This last suspect was a bit farfetched, and I would admit it, seeing as how it would be a bit difficult to enter the castle without being ambushed by Waddle Dees if you didn't know the right passage ways.

Tiff and Tuff were in for a little surprise this morning.

**Interrogation #1****- Tiff and Tuff**

I burst into their sitting room, my face a mask of rage. My two "friends" were sitting in front of the TV, looking spectacularly bored. Their heads turned quickly at the sound of me coming through there door, "Hey Lynn, what's up?" Tiff asked politely

"You know full well what's up!" I roared, pushing my bangs back so that they could get a better view of my face, "What do you have to say about this?!"

Tuff was rolling on the ground, having succumbed to fits of laughter. Tiff was staring wide-eyed at me. Her hand went over her mouth, "Oh Lynn," she muttered, "What did you do?"

"What did I do?!" I screeched, "Why did you do this?"

"Me?!" Tiff frowned, "I would never do something like that! It's low and tacky!" she crossed her arms and turned her back on me, obviously offended.

I calmed myself the best I could and replied, "True, this _is_ kind of tacky for you. You wouldn't have the guts to draw on my face in my sleep,"

She whirled around, "Says who?!"

"Uh, says me," I said, laughing a bit, "Anyways, if you didn't do it, then does that mean _you_ did?" I loomed over Tuff, returning to my angry state. The boy scrambled back, away from me, "No! don't look at me! I don't have the guts either! I swear!"

I rolled my eyes, "Alright then, I am going to go yell at Escargoon now. If it wasn't you two, he probably did it,"

"Do you want us to come with you?" Tuff asked

"No. I don't need help pulling off my revenge,"

~*~

I skirted through the hallways in a feverish attempt to track down the snail. I passed the knights, "Hi Meta Knight. Bye Meta Knight," I said semi-cheerfully

"Good morning Lynn," he said smoothly, stopping for a moment to examine my face before I brushed past him, "Oh my…"

Sword and Blade also watched me pass, and I had a feeling that behind that armor, they were staring, mouths agape.

"Do I dare ask?" he called after me in an impressive out of character moment.

I turned, now walking backwards, "I would appreciate it if you didn't!" and turned a corner.

**Interrogation #2****- Escargoon**

I reached Escargoon's room, composing myself for yet another rage. One I was able to keep a straight face. I forced open the door, "Snail! I have a bone to pick with you!!!"

Escargoon, who had been asleep over his desk, woke with a start, screaming something incoherent, but if I had to guess, it would have sounded like, "GahIwasn'thavinganeroticdream!"

Fighting the urge to shudder violently, I stomped up to him, "Care to explain this?!" I lifted my bangs for him to see the word on my face.

Still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he looked up at my head. His eyes widened and he started laughing uncontrollably, "What… what is that?!" he clutched his sides, chuckling maliciously, "You look like you got on the bad side of a PG-13 movie!"

Hating to admit that the previous statement sounded somewhat funny, I merely glared, "Well, I'm glad you think it's so funny. At least you'll be laughing when I punch you're teeth out!" I raised a fist.

The snail stopped laughing, "Hey missy! I didn't do it!"

"Oh really?!" I snarled, "You're the one that hates my guts! You want me out of the castle! You have since we made that deal!"

"That doesn't mean I did it! I have better things to do than write swears on your face in the middle of the night!"

I grinned wickedly, "I never said whoever did this did it while I was sleeping, or what time they did it. Tell the truth!!!"

He covered his head with his hands, "I-I didn't do it! I was sworn to secrecy! Please don't kill me!"

I grabbed his goatee and brought him close to my face, "Who… did… it…?" I said through gritted teeth.

"I… uh…hmm…" he was at a loss for words. His complexion was now pure white.

Seeing that I was getting nowhere. I pushed him away, "I'll be back…" I hissed, and left.

Well, my three suspects were busts. Escargoon had told me absolutely nothing important. Dedede hadn't done it; he didn't know I even lived in the castle. Tiff and Tuff hadn't done it. While they did have some good reasons for revenge, they were afraid of me as well. I was 90% sure Meta Knight hadn't done it. He was too chivalrous. He had too many standards. Sword and Blade wouldn't do it because… because………………..because….

I face-palmed.

~*~

I stood, pressed against a wall outside of the kitchens, where I heard Sword and Blade's voices. I had come at exactly the right time.

"It's hard to believe Escargoon helped us with that little prank. I can't believe we didn't know where Lynn's room was until last night!"

"Esafkjaf hates dkjafjremf Lynn," replied the gibberish speaking knight

"Very true. Did you hear her yelling? She's gone completely bonkers!"

"Agjrkrnk hope aghcjfj doesn't find us,"

Sword laughed, "We'd never get another peaceful moment!"

"Rjckecmek deserved it,"

"Ha! Really! She's the worst. That one word defines her perfectly!"

They both laughed.

I walked away, absolutely livid. While I was tempted to burst in and begin pounding them both into toothpaste, I knew that was an unrealistic fantasy. They were two fully trained knights with swords, armor, and a powerful grudge. I was going to have to be very subtle about my revenge.

-The next day-

Sword woke to Blade shaking him roughly, "Blade? What? Why are you in my room?"

While Blade was tempted to say something along the lines of, "_We have the same room you idiot!_" but he had more pressing matters, "You will not believe what she did!"

Sword shook himself, "What do you mean, 'she'?"

"SHE MEANING GIRL! C'MON SWORD! WORK WITH ME HERE!"

"Which 'she' are you referring to?" Sword had a good idea of what 'she' his friend was talking about, but didn't want to believe it, "The 'she' that's pretty, smells nice, and can have sick fantasies about when Meta Knight's not around, or the type of 'she' that's sarcastic, evil beyond her years, and that we can fantasize about hating when Meta Knight's not around?!"

Blade groaned, "The latter!"

Sword's eyes widened and immediately scrambled for his helmet.

What he saw caused his mouth to drop open. A wave of hatred washed over him.

On his helmet a certain someone had drawn a twirly French moustache and goatee. Around the sides of said helmet there some illegible scribblings and some remarks so rude I'm not going to mention them for fear of having to up this story to an 'M' rating.

"That little…" Sword said through gritted teeth.

"She did the same to mine," Blade sighed, showing Sword the helmet. '**BASTARD**' was etched across the top, along with some of the same rude remarks on Sword's helmet. He swore loudly.

"She also left us a note," he tossed a folded piece of paper in Sword's direction. He unfolded it and read aloud…

"_Dear Idiot #1 and Idiot #2,_

_ You brought this upon yourself. I'm just repaying the favor. I am aware that I am a bitch and I'm proud of that fact. I do not, however, appreciate it being inked on my head while I'm sleeping. I wonder how Meta Knight will react to this. Ooh, now I'm curious!_

_I look forward to seeing you around. It'll brighten up my day, seeing your lovely faces._

'_Till round 2 gentlemen._

_Much love,_

_Lynn (the Bitch)"_

**Just a funny little one-shot about the relationship of Sword and Blade and Lynn. Hope you all liked it! I think the reason Blade speaks gibberish in the dub is because his helmet impedes his speech somehow, which is why, during the end of the storym you can understand what he's saying. His helmet's off!**


End file.
